THE FIVE BIGGEST MISTAKES MEN MAKE IN FAMILY COURT
It’s been 23 years since my divorce and there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t recall that gloomy period of time. You know the feeling! What could have been, what should have been??? Etc. etc.…. I have often speculated about what my divorce would have been like had I a place to go for the same information I now provide to others. Certainly a desired result would have been quicker and far less painful and definitely less expensive! Notwithstanding, things have worked out well despite my early ignorance. (As discussed in Free Report #1-“Why Men Lose In Family Court”) Eventually, after a serious revelation with myself I realized my mistakes and allowed a man to help me. My focus now is to help men avoid the same mistakes I did. And if they do find themselves in a position of having made serious mistakes that we will be discussing they will have a place to come for information and help.
I receive over 150 e-mails per day from men all over the country. One of largest thrills I have is being contacted by a “First timer”. This is a man that has just been served with divorce papers or some other initial family law proceeding and is seeking information and help. He is just beginning his journey. What is exciting to me is that this man has no idea just how much I can help him. Obtaining the right information in the very beginning will dramatically change his entire life, the lives of his parents, children, friends and everyone else with whom he is associated now and in the future. Seeing these men make the right decisions at the right time is extremely gratifying to me. It’s what motivates me to continue my pursuit of Father’s rights and offering legal assistance. But for every first timer that contacts me and allows me to help them there are 1000 men (myself included) that ignorantly proceed without the right information at the right time. To these men this article is dedicated. And remember, the only mistake that can’t be corrected is the mistake you will not admit. It’s never too late!
Although not included in the list, there is a mistake bigger than those to be discussed below. It is the mistaken belief that one can simply go to a family law attorney, pay $3,000 to $5,000 and all your legal problems will be favourably resolved. This is ABSOLUTELY NOT TRUE! In fact, This never works and is a colossal mistake that can doom your legal case forever! Unfortunately for millions of men there are no state laws requiring second opinions or confirmation of a legal diagnosis and/or prognosis. (Read our Free Report #2 “The Truth About Family Court and Attorneys.”)
In Medicine there are certain check and balance systems that are required to insure a proper diagnosis and prognosis. (In medical cases involving serious illness second opinions are required by law in many states) For example, if you (God forbid) were diagnosed with a serious illness requiring major surgery the first thing you would want to do is get a second opinion. You would want to be sure of the diagnosis and proposed treatment. You would want to know your medical options and alternatives. In short, you would want to confirm what the doctor had told you! There is a check and balance system that works. Wherefore it would be very difficult for a medical doctor to perform major surgery when not necessary or when other effective treatment options were available. In other words medical checks and balances preclude a doctor from performing major surgery that were not necessary or, to be honest, just for the money. If only it was that way in law! It certainly should be!
The bottom line here is this: NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, pay a family law attorney a cent until your case has been thoroughly evaluated and you know exactly where you stand on all issues and what the court will order! Remember, attorneys do not make money giving consultations or by settling matters in their office or by phone. They make money by going to court regardless of necessity. Unchecked and Imbalanced! Therefore before you pay money to an attorney, before you make agreements with your Ex, before you discuss the matter with your friends and family, before you fill out paperwork yourself, let me completely and thoroughly evaluate your case. Let me give you your legal diagnosis and prognosis. Let me become your personal advocate! Don’t make the biggest mistake of them all! To learn more about our Advocate Plans click on the Advocate Plan link at the end of this report.
Finally, your case (or the case of the person for whom you are concerned) will never be resolved until you (they) take the time to learn how the Family Law system works. You must commit to learning the simple steps you can take now to resolve your present legal issues and avoid additional issues in the future. Remember, your failure is her victory!
The Five Biggest Mistakes Men make in Family court:
1. Failing to respond: This is the biggest mistake of all! Men commonly fail to respond to legal actions. They simply don’t do anything at all. They rationalize that their spouse will likely drop the action or they will be able to work out an agreement outside of court. The reality here is that women almost always follow through with divorce. In California alone, 94% of all divorce filings proceed to final judgment. In New York, 42% of all divorce judgments are by default. (Other states report similar statistics) Failing to respond to a divorce action or other family law legal proceeding will result in a “default judgment” being entered against you. This means that everything your spouse has requested in her petition will be granted. The Court can even make additional orders it deems necessary and proper. If you are served with papers, always respond! If, after responding, you are able to obtain an out of Court settlement or your spouse reconsiders and drops the action, great. However, always respond! Failing to do so can, and likely will, result in severe and far reaching consequences from which you may never recover. The Family Law Court system is a very unforgiving system. If you fail to respond to any Family Law legal action in which you are a party, you may lose forever certain rights related to your case.
2. Incorrect legal advice: Every one has a family member or friend that has been through a divorce or related family court actions. Once these well-intentioned individuals learn that you are facing family law legal problems they are quick to give you advice. Unfortunately, the information they dispense is often incorrect, incomplete and/or outdated. (In some instances Illegal)
Family laws and legal guidelines used by the Court change frequently. Wherefore, there is no substitute for accurate legal information that specifically pertains to your case. Acting on bad legal advice can be worse than not doing anything. Take the time to learn the facts. You can be sure your soon to be Ex has or will!
3. Signs bad settlement agreement: Men that have failed to obtain the proper information and assistance often sign a bad settlement agreement called a Stipulated Judgment or Marital Settlement Agreement. Remember that the Court doesn’t care what agreements two sides of a legal action make. Their only concern is that both parties are in agreement. The rule of thumb here is; don’t sign an agreement if it’s not what you want. Changing a final divorce agreement and/or stipulated order on any family law issue is very difficult and in some cases impossible.
4. Doesn’t perform agreements: The message here is simple. Don’t sign an agreement you don’t like. If, after having been properly advised, you like the agreement being offered, sign it! But, if you are not comfortable with the offer of settlement, don’t sign it! More importantly, don’t sign anything that you do not intend to perform. The court has little patience with those who don’t perform orders. Non-compliance with court orders can severely prejudice your case and can even result in contempt of court charges in which jail time can be imposed.
5. Becomes frustrated, gives up: It’s no secret that the Family Court continues to be biased in favor of women. Although this bias has subsided in recent years due to new laws and guidelines, it still exists.
Admittedly there is nothing more frustrating than watching a Judge or mediator allow a woman to ramble on and on about her position and yet not give the man even a moment to respond in support of his position. Despite the prevalent bias men should never get so frustrated that they lose their composure. Patience is a great virtue in Family Court. Don’t forget that a family law case stays open until you die or there are no longer any issues to be resolved. Therefore, your involvement in the case is not limited to just the present court date or most recent filing. You may face court again in the future. Don’t get discouraged and never just give up!
Now let me ask you! Why have you come to this site? Are you looking for answers to your family law problems? Are you the Parent, Grandparent, girlfriend, sister or new wife of a man having problems in family court? Are you confused? Lost? Frustrated? Angry? Are you a “first timer” just starting a case? Have you been to court several times and not been successful? Attorney not doing the job? What ever your reason for coming to this site let me help you! Let me guide you and teach you how to be successful. Let me answer your legal questions. Let me be your advocate!
Here is proof that the Advocate Plans work!
At this point you might asking, “how can you know for sure that our services and information can really help you? You might also be wondering if our services and information will work in your State and County. You may even be uneasy about our service because you don’t really know who we are and what we do! That said, I am going to ask that you give me 5 minutes to answer these questions in 3 easy steps.
Step #1: Step #1: First, Please note that for 17 years we have had a “A” rating with the Better Business Bureau. We have the highest BBB rating possible; A. We are very proud of our excellent reputation for providing Fathers rights legal services.
Step #2: Second, (Most important) I would like for you to check me out personally on the web. My legal history, awards, speeches, reports, articles, law school accommodations, Wikipedia references, Fathers rights legal cases, it’s all there on the web! Choose any search engine you like. Again, when you’re finished come back to this page for Step #3. Simply type in my name in the search bar: Mike L. Weening.
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Step #3: Third, click on the link below and read our Customer Comments and Success Stories. These comments are directly from our clients. We have even provided each clients personal e-mail address for verification purposes.
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